For someone who has lost her child, the Mother’s Day grief will never end. It’s important to remember this every day, but especially on Mother’s Day when other moms are receiving cards, phone calls, and hugs from their children.
How to empathize:
- Remember her layers of grief. Whether they were young, adults or lost before or shortly after birth, they’re deeply missed as each year passes.
- Think of milestones that this mother won’t see: school plays, graduation, that amazing job, their first grandchild, every holiday that comes and goes.
- Keep in mind parents never expect to see their children die first, making every loss of a child especially tragic.
- Think about how each child is unique; her remaining children don’t replace the child who’s gone.
- If you know a mom whose child has gone missing, be sensitive to her struggle with the uncertainty and lack of closure.
Helpful tip: Many families refer to infants who are lost during pregnancy or shortly after birth “angel babies.”
Things to do:
- Read blog posts by moms who’ve lost children. Their moving stories can guide you in how you support your friend.
- Say you’d love to hear more about their son or daughter when they’d like to talk.
- Ask their favourite things about their child. Say their child’s name out loud.
- Give them space if they desire it.
- Schedule an outing with them that’s not on Mother’s Day, so that other family celebrations don’t cause more grief.
- Prepare their child’s favourite food. Invite your friend over or just quietly drop it off at their home.
- Show compassion and understand that this kind of grief doesn’t go away.